I’ve had a lovely 4 day weekend because of the snow and don’t really have much bookish things to talk about currently so I’m just going to post some of the thoughts that rattle around in that brain of mine.
Am I invisible?
I was in my school’s weight room the other day with a friend of mine and there were the usual football crew and other boys in the there. My friend and I were doing some abs, and these 3 boys kept playing with her and stealing her shoes and she stole their phones in retaliation.
No one looked at me, not even a glance. It wasn’t like I didn’t know these boys either, they were in my classes, knew my name and have had actual conversations with me. I mentioned my invisibility to my friend and told her that the boys were so flirting with her but she dismissed it.
The next time we were in the weight room, one of the boys kicked my shoe when we were doing crunches. Okay so I wasn’t invisible after all I guess, right? I guess my friend is just more of an attention people person, whereas I am more of a huddle in the corner of a room reading a book kind of person.
The point is, I’m fine with that. I was upset at first that I was the sidekick who wasn’t paid attention to, but I’m realizing that I’m fine with it, might even like it. Cause really I didn’t want the attention, I only thought I did, if that makes sense? I think I like the idea of things more than I like actually doing them.
(Cough cough boys. I like the idea of a boyfriend but do I necessarily want one?)
That also leads me to the topic of boys in general and prom. My junior prom is coming up in April and it’s taken my grade by a storm. Everyone is talking about it. Someone gets asked every other day it seems.
I suppose that makes sense, February, Valentine’s Day etc. there has to be a link there. At first I was like oh my god who’s going to ask me. And then I took a step back to assess my situation and realized that I wouldn’t want to be asked for the sake of asking.
I mean that I’d rather go with my friends who I’d have a better time with anyway because my date might not want to dance or be self conscious and it would just be awkward if I didn’t know the guy too much.
Not that I wouldn’t mind being asked either.
My mother says she’s sick of hearing about prom and that she doesn’t see a point in it.
I disagree. As juniors, especially IB juniors, we get so stressed trying to get good grades for college, and I think having a junior prom is a way to promote excitement and de-stress for a night.
And the thing is, I know my mom will make prom as hard for me as possible because that’s how she is, so it’s probably even better that I won’t have a date, right?
But I don’t want my mom to be the reason for me not having a date if that makes sense? But also who am I kidding I don’t really date period because of her. But also am I just using my mom as my excuse not to date? Thoughts in my brain people. Hmm I’m making a sexuality post next because I feel that I want to cause I’m confuzzled.
So anyway, I hope you enjoyed my musings, and have a super lovely day!